oh man fml

ok this will be a tl;dr so here is the pic and stuff you may have seen it already if you keep up with my da
http://fc53.deviantart.com/fs44/f/2009/066/1/1/kevin_barnes_strippedddd_by_killa_cam.png

So I’m not gonna lie to myself. Today was kind of awful and demeaning in several ways. I’m pretty sure I did it to myself though but there’s a little part of me that begs to differ. It started first period when I realized how many sophomores and freshman were in my math class. I felt awful—I mean do you blame me? What better way to make someone feel dumb by placing them in a class full of underclassmen? Ugh just kill me now why don’t you? :|

I felt so tired today, too. Also, I could tell I was being exceptionally annoying today by the looks of everything I said made Jack and Paul’s eyebrow raises. Ouch ouch ouch. I think they assume that I don’t notice though but I was also trying to make it seem like I didn’t notice too. Or maybe I didn’t. I hate it though; do I really say stupid things all the time and no one tells me?

They sit with me because they feel sorry for me. I know they do. I know Paul would rather sit with Megana in the other room or Nancy by the lockers. I can’t really tell where Jack would rather sit but I have a feeling he would rather sit somewhere else. I dunno.

I’m just glad that this will be over soon. They might miss me when I’m gone. They might but I’m unsure because they talk less and less to me as the year comes to a close. I wish I knew some of my online friends in real life. I feel like I can relate to them way better than people here. It makes me sad but I don’t know.

I feel so whiny; do I complain this much at school or at home? No scratch that—I don’t even talk at home. I don’t feel like I can anymore. Probably, it’s because I say things and my mother is appalled and don’t realize it.

I just want to be by myself and not at the same time because I kind of hate myself still. Is that bad? Because I think it makes you better if you can find faults in yourself but I don’t know about that either-- because I feel sad a lot anyway and when I try to improve myself, I feel like I have to push it more and then I give up.

I feel ugly still. I feel stupid still. I feel fat still. I feel irreverent. I feel sick.

I wish I could read peoples’ minds; so I could see what they were thinking or what they thought about me.

TL;DR

I had a bad day ok

hey lol

sry I skipped a day ;__;

i had a bad day ; but I drew this cute picture of a robot in art but it's a project so I couldn't take it home ):
still working on the thing on my last post

Hello!!! I hope you like this picture! Sorry but you have to click on it to see the whole thing! > w< c: